i found some good blog exchanges about the article i linked to in my last. if you're interested, go here.
my thoughts: i thought Verhulst did a good job in her article to pointing toward greater freedom in parenting. go ahead and read the "experts". read Dobson and Sears and Ezzo. ask your mom. ask your mother-in-law. watch your friends and learn.
then YOU decide. you won't line up with any of your sources 100%. contrary to the tone of the typical book or article on parenting, that's ok. put together what works for your family, and go with it, guilt-free.
and on days when the guilt is overwhelming, read things like this.